11 – Thinking what is next again, and again and again

I do have everything I need. I have a comfortable environment, I have a beautiful wife, I rent a nice place in Tokyo and I do have a job that is challenging and pays relatively well, not great, but fair enough.

Why am I unsatisfied with life? So I go back to self-help (which in Japanese they call self-development) books. Do they help? Sometimes, most of the time. You just have to choose which one to follow. I like the 99u.com website from Behance and their recommendations.

So lately I started to read http://99u.com/book/maximize-your-potential and the discussion of the day was: Am I doing something meaningful? I know I am making the world a little bit better a little piece at a time, but I there is something bothering me real deep. I lost my cause lately.

Six months ago I had this idea that I knew a lot about Product Planning User Experience and could share with everyone.  But those 6 months showed me that a lot of what I thought was  right was actually incomplete. At my previous job I had a user target that was clear, but at my new job the target is not clear. They ask me all the time to create something for everyone, but I feel I am creating for no one. It feels boring sometimes, it feels like what I doing has no meaning.

Is the problem the job? I don’t believe so. I believe the problem is how I dealt with it, without patience, getting mad at people for their poor abilities with scheduling, getting mad at people because their levels of quality were different than mine.

But after deep thoughts on it, I am reviewing what I do. What is up next, how to finish what I started. And start something again, propose something before somebody ask me to do what they want. What do I want to propose? I will think of something and write here after I discover it.

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